56. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 - Travis Bradberry (📖)

Reading Notes:

You experience things emotionally before your reason can kick into gear.

Personal competence is made up of self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people.

Social competence is made up of social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships.

High degree of self-awareness requires a willingness to tolerate the discomfort of focussing on feelings that may be negative.

People high in self-awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.

Having self-awareness means you aren’t afraid of your emotional mistakes.

Your hard-wired emotional reactions to anything come before you even have a chance to respond.

You’re often physically aware of an emotion long before you’re mentally aware of it.

Focus your attention on your freedoms, rather than your limitations

In the timeless classic, War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy wrote that the two strongest warriors are time and patience.

The thoughts that are most influential are those where you literally talk to yourself.

Keep your bed for sleeping. The best way to checkout the moment you hit the mattress is to avoid working or watching television in bed. Save your bed for sleep and your body will respond.

When you can’t keep your body language in check, it is a clear sign that your emotions are getting the best of you.

Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influential social awareness strategies you can adopt.

The key to social awareness is focussing on others, instead of on yourself.

Whereever you are, be as present as possible so that you can see the people around you and experience life in the moment.

Remember, planning the future and reflecting on the past are valuable exercises, but doing this throughout your day interferes with what is in front of you - your present.

You don’t have to agree with the way people are feeling, but you have to recognize those feelings as legitimate and respect them.